a pug and some kindness

My pug, ValenTiny, has a problem with reverse sneezing. From what I hear, it's a somewhat common problem with smooshy-faced dogs, but this post isn't about reverse sneezing. 

When it first started happening, I thought she was about to vomit and I would panic and yell and try to get her outside. This was a natural and useless reaction. In fact, I'm sure it made everything worse. She would run from me, but she would run to a hidey hole, like under the futon or behind the recliner - places I did not want to be cleaning up vomit in. This increased my panic. And sometimes, she did indeed vomit and that was no fun for anyone. She also has a tendency to overindulge when she finds a particularly tasty treat, like fresh horse poops, which did not help matters. 

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that my reaction to her reverse sneezing episodes was making it worse. This, despite having been told at one point that reverse sneezes can happen when the dog is simply overexcited, and knowing that overexcitement isn't necessarily happiness - it can also be distress. 

I had to reframe my understanding of what was happening to her. It's not a 'behavior' to be corrected: the dog would happily stop if they could. It isn't something they're doing, it's something that's happening to them. And it's inherently distressing. Or at least it is to my dog. When I really look at what's going on, it's very clear that she's upset and scared in those moments. 

If I react with anger or panic, I'm telling her that she should be more scared and upset. That's why she ran from me when I yelled. Of course she did: something was happening that was uncomfortable and uncontrollable, and her mom was scared and angry, too, and my reaction was clearly directed at her. It was a perfectly reasonable response on her part. 

I have a new approach now. After realizing what was happening, I began by sitting down on the floor in her general vicinity when she started to experience a reverse sneezing episode. Then I spoke to her and let her know that everything was ok, she wasn't in trouble, this wasn't even anything to be concerned about. The difference was immediate. She didn't run away. She let me pet her while the episode resolved. The second time this happened, when the episode started she was in another room but she beelined to me, and I stroked her back and told her she was a good girl. Now she does that every time. 

And I've noticed that her episodes are shorter and less dramatic. 

Sometimes kindness and empathy really are more effective.