this post contains horse shit

Part of the reason some people don't work on themselves, don't bother trying to become better people, is that they don't believe they'll live long enough to see the results. Or they don't want to.

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[a hypothesis... possibly an epiphany?] The reason sand accumulation (sand colic) in horses is related to diarrhea and not constipation is that the whole problem with sand is that it does not get picked up and carried through the intestines - it just collects there. So it doesn't directly affect the consistency of the poop through immersion; it indirectly affects the consistency of the poo (and the absorbance of water by the body) by creating a barrier between the intestinal wall and the post-food-stuff, which mitigates both the absorption of water and the palpation of the poo-stuff by the intestines. Ergo, diarrhea. (Obv, if there's too much sand, it can cause a literal blockage, which is a different issue than constipation.)

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For some people, the wounds that created their challenges are existential, and they do not work on themselves because that would be a complete undoing of the person they believe themselves to be, because being bad is less scary than not being.

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I love you so deeply; the goodness of your soul, the depth of your emotional well, the fear in your face that you might be unlovable, the innocent (uncomprehending) pain you carry - these things are palpable to me. 

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[regarding the neurological/psychological development of humans] Childhoods are not taken away; they are halted. The person continues to age, but cannot grow as a complete entity. Their personality is pulled like pizza dough stretched thin by a baker. That's a bad analogy, because a personality does not benefit from the torsion. The personality is stressed. (Is their cortisol generally higher at their homeostasic state - is that a word/phrase? - or does the body adjust?) Cognitive dissonance becomes integral to their existence while some parts of the person can grow and others cannot. That part that cannot is often an emotional regulation part. 

This is why grown men throw temper tantrums. 

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existential fox is watching you